Houston Texas Marriage Conference.

Session One and Two: Foundation for the weekend conference.

Theme: What You Don’t Value You Will Loose It.

Participatory Exercise: Couples separated across the room to answer the questions.

 Before:

1. How did you feel/think about your spouse as person before marriage?
2. How did you feel/think about your spouse in communication before marriage?
3. How did you feel/think about your spouse in Finances before marriage?
4. How did you feel/think about your spouse in sex before marriage?

(If you had sex before marriage please make note of your observation)

1. What was your view of your marriage before marriage and soon after marriage?
2. How was your spouse’s commitment to God before marriage and soon after marriage?

Now:

1. How do you feel/think about your spouse?
2. How do you feel/think about your spouse in communication?
3. How do you feel/think about your spouse in Finances?
4. How do you feel/think about your spouse in Sex?
5. What is your view of marriage – Now?
6. How is your spouse’s commitment to God-Now?

The goal of the exercise: dig within ourselves for the purpose of contrasting the contradictions through our journey as spouses. We want to explore the key question emerging from the results – WHY?

A thriving relationship is predicated on perceived and actualized value of the parties involved and everything in that relationship.

Sub Topic: What you don’t value you loose it?

Exploratory Texts:

Matthew 3:17 (17And a voice from heaven said, “This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased.”

John 3:16

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever
believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.

Matthew 27: 45-46

46About the ninth hour Jesus cried out in a loud voice, “Eloi, Eloi,^c lama sabachthani?”—which means, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”^d

Tension question: How can God forsake the very Son he said he loved and is well pleased?

Insight: God values humanity to the extent of sacrificing Himself and the absolute best through Christ.

We are not exceptions when it comes to our martial relations.  When spouses value each other there will be sacrifices in everything around their relationship. The value of communication, sex and finance will be an experience of growth the emerging tensions. Therefore, tensions in marriage are necessary to help us find more about us. Value will supersede tension because what you value dearly, you will sacrifice dearly.

Define value: Noun – worth, price, rate, cost, benefit, importance, significance, profit, merit…

                       : Verb – appreciate, respect, treasure, cherish, regard highly, rate, assess…

Examples of Value and Devalue.

Value: God sets the standard when He says; “For God so love the world that He gave….” God speaks of Jesus “This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased.”

Devalue:  1Sam 17: 26David asked the men standing near him, “What will be done for the man who kills this Philistine and removes this disgrace from Israel? Who is this uncircumcised Philistine that he should defy the armies of the living God?

Devalue: The homeboy  Jesus was despised as the carpenter’s son in Mark 6:1-6; 3isn’t this the carpenter? Isn’t this Mary’s son and the brother of James, Joseph, Judas and Simon? Aren’t his sisters here with us?”;  and Jesus says in the same text that a prophet is not without honor in his own country, among his own relatives and in his own house.

What you don’t value you loose it.

How many couples are devaluing each other every day in communication-finances and sex?

What causes the lack of value? Unresolved conflicts are symptoms of underlying primary problems, individual psychological wounds, unawareness and ineffective communication.

Another major cause is familiarity. A wise philosopher in 42 BC by the name of Publius Syrus was the first to say “Familiarity Breeds Contempt”. There are actually 4 stages to watch for before you become a victim of familiarity complex of spirit and pride is the root of familiarity.

          4 stages to watch:  Committed then 2. Casual next 3. Cynical, and Finally 4. Contempt

Session 2.

How do we rebuild value?

                           Self Confidence

                           Value Triangle.

     Satisfaction                                 Security

The ingredients to develop each others value are self confidence, satisfaction and security. These three keys will allow us to repair the damages we create in our relationship.

Lack of inner self confidence has many negative impacts. Without a healthy value of each other in communication, sex and finance to lay the foundation for our inner feelings and insecurities, our self confidence cracks and gradually erodes.

Lack of respect for individual needs and belief: If your marriage is at a place of occasional neglect of each other and less caring of each other but ourselves and materialistic gain, then we need to stop and start the value building process prayerfully.  If all you here is “I am and me” then the problem is you in the first place. When you meet people who notice and acknowledge you, you appreciate and your reaction to them is worm and endearing – reason is simple – they give you a reason to believe in yourself and a demonstration of your worth or value as an individual-this increases your self confidence, personal satisfaction and sense of security as well in marriage in sex, communication, finance and raising children.

REPROGRAM:  The culture and environment we relate with shape how we do things. We need a Christ centered view of life as individuals and married couples. In re-establishing the value for each other as couples, we must find a reason to believe in each other again or give each other a reason to believe in ourselves as well as having a sense of purpose and belonging.  A thriving relationship is predicated on perceived and actualized value of the parties involved and everything in that relationship. It is in relationship you have revelation.

We will need to shift focus from getting end results to discovering the underlying cause of events or series of events leading up to contentment or discomfort.

Ideas: Small sessions as couples to empower each other, discussions to add value to each other in our marriage, family, finance, sex, communication and most importantly our relation to God. (VAT=VALUE ADDED TALK).

Conclusion:

The alignment between each couple’s individual values and Godly values is the key driver of a growing and thriving marriage relationship. Developing a value system that serves each other in the marriage should be an intentional focus.

Biblical examples on value placement.

Luke 1:28, Matthew 3:17, John 3:16, John 16:13 – Value on person/People

Luke 12:20 – Value on Spiritual v/s Material gains

Matthew 25:6-13 – Value on Time

Matthew 25: 27-28 – Value on Finance

Luke 10: 38 -42 – Value on Communication

Songs of Songs – Value on relationship and specific body parts.

Close: What you don’t value you loose.

Proverbs 18:21 and Roman 12:1-2

Participants: Formulate value statements for each other in communication, finance, sex, marriage, children and God.

Presentation by: Dennis Massawe.

May 25^th – 26^th 2012

info@theflic.org

Welcome Back!!

Back again to the blog world. As you look at my blog it is apparent that I have been missing in action since last year and the first quarter of this year. Life has been happening and I thank God for every step of the way.

2011 was a time for me to venture with a local company to establish relations and be part of forming a wonderful forum of speakers on a weekly basis, and a ministry wing. That ended in March 2012 and I am moving forward with the music side of things as well as overseeing the newly registered organization-The Fountain of Life International Center.

I am excited about the the latest single to be release June 22nd 2012. The title of the track is SLOW ME DOWN. A strong message that will challenge you to look in to your busy life. Stay Tuned!

Dmass.